To Serve
by ScribeOfRhapsody
Summary: "Quit blaming yourself. There was nothing more you could have done." Scientia's head rose just slightly. Barely enough for Nyx to realize he'd heard him. "Are those words meant for me or yourself?"


**For my lovely beta, ScribeOfRED. :) She wanted a Nyx fic.**

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He should have felt guilt.

Guilt for not being able to protect her in the end.

He should have felt rage.

Rage at the man who had taken the life of the brightest woman he'd ever known.

Instead he felt hollow. Hollow and numb. Yet somehow he was able to feel a soul-deep ache at her loss.

Lady Lunafreya – the world's beloved sign of hope and peace – was gone.

Nyx leaned forward in his chair, his elbows propped on his knees as he pressed his index fingers into his tear ducts. All they'd been through, and she was gone in an instant. Just like Crowe. Just like King Regis. And now he was, once again, powerless to do anything to help.

It was far too quiet in this room for three people to be present. The young King was unconscious. Vulnerable. Just as still as his father had been when he'd fallen, out of Nyx's reach to save. The only noise Nyx could hear was the constant thrumming of his own pulse in the canals of his ears. Scientia might as well have been unconscious as well, given how silent he was. Not that Nyx could blame him.

Nyx gave a wince as he glanced in the Crownsguard's direction and spotted darkened, raised scar tissue that was creeping out from the edges of his tinted glasses. Nyx absently traced his fingers over the long scar on his own face. The Princess had never treated him any differently, so sometimes he could almost forget the garish marks the Ring of the Lucii had left scrawled all over him. It was harder to forget the damage during battle, though, when his right hand shook every time he grasped his dagger too tightly.

He and Scientia really did have a lot in common. It was easy to profess loyalty when things were fine and dandy, but few people were tested like the two of them. Two loyalists to the utmost end.

Nyx reached his threshold for silence and snapped. "Quit blaming yourself. There was nothing more you could have done."

Scientia's head rose just slightly. Barely enough for Nyx to realize he'd heard him. "Are those words meant for me or yourself?"

Nyx crossed his arms, shrugging out of habit before realizing that wasn't a reply the other man would get. "…Yes."

Scientia snorted softly. "I see."

Annnnnd great. More silence. Why was that such a bad thing? He'd never had a problem with being alone, so why was this silence bothering him now?

 _You know why, dumbass._

Yeah. He did. He'd gotten used to having company since he'd left Insomnia. With her. Walking side by side.

"There _was_ nothing more you could have done," Ignis stated flatly, as though he spoke in absolute facts.

Right. There never was, was there? Lunafreya. King Regis. Crowe. His own family. There was _never_ more he could have done, and somehow that made it even worse. What good was he doing if he was never enough to actually help when the time came?

Nyx licked his chapped lips, letting out a humorless laugh. "You know… I hadn't realized how used I'd gotten to having her around."

"You grew close in your time together?"

"Well, battle makes bonds grow stronger, right?" One didn't fight for their life with someone and not form _some_ kind of connection with them. "That and I… I think I was probably the first friend she'd made in about twelve years."

The rustle of sheets had both Nyx and Scientia snapping their heads in that direction. Nyx stayed put. Their young King barely knew him. It wasn't his place to say anything at the moment. Or ever, really. This wasn't his group. He was an outsider. A delivery boy with muscle and couple of knives.

"Back with us?" Scientia asked. When he got no answer, he stood from his chair, carefully using the arm of the chair to guide himself. "I'll tell the others… though it may take a bit."

The young King's eyes widened, his lips parting in a barely audible gasp as he looked at his Advisor. "You're hurt…"

"A small sacrifice in the greater battle."

Nyx closed his eyes for a moment. Scientia's condition was by no means a _small_ sacrifice. And yet… that was exactly the kind of thing Nyx would have said himself, because it didn't matter. _They_ didn't matter. Pawns, knights, bishops, rooks… They were all the same in the end. There to protect the one piece that really mattered.

"And Luna?"

Even… even their Queen.

"She has passed."

Nyx silently grabbed Scientia's walking stick and followed him out of the room as the young King began to weep. He didn't touch Scientia, though. No, the Advisor wouldn't take kindly to being led around in front of their King at the moment. He was the King's pillar of strength, after all. Seeing him needing assistance to _walk_ would do nothing good for the situation.

Scientia's posture sagged the moment the door closed behind them. "I cannot imagine the grief he is facing… nor do I know how to advise him. Matters of the heart are complicated enough. Matters of heart _break_ even more so…"

Nyx shook his head. "Time's the only thing that can start to heal a wound like that." Time. Huh. Easy to forget how young Scientia actually was. How young _all_ of them were. Hell, Amilcitia wasn't even twenty-five and was the oldest of them.

"Perhaps…" Scientia's voice was soft, doubtful.

Nyx didn't have much contact with the man before the fall of Insomnia, but he did remember the confident composure. The assuredness in every word he spoke. The Advisor was more shaken than he let on.

The four of them would be tested by this. Nyx could see the fabrics that held their group together fraying at the edges already. Without them each in their proper place, everything could unravel.

The young King. The soul.

Scientia. The mind.

Amicitia. The bone.

Argentum. The heart.

If one failed, they all might.

And him? Where did he fit in now?

"C'mon, Scientia." Nyx lay a hand on the Crownsgaurd's shoulder, directing him down the hallway. "Let's find the other two."

…The eyes. That would have to be his role. Not just for Scientia, either. They would need to see the world that they lived in for what it really was without the protection of Insomnia. They would need to see things from each other's perspectives in order to overcome all that had happened.

Nyx pressed his lips into a hard line. There was something more he could do this time, and he was going to make damn well sure he did it.


End file.
